Contemplating My Future

Contemplating My Future
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Through the Fog

As I’m sitting here writing, I’m contemplating what my future with fibromyalgia might look like. If I allow myself, I can become anxious by wondering what changes lie ahead for me. As a woman of faith, I work on turning my health and future over to the one who holds it in his hands. That doesn’t mean it’s an easy thing to do.

I’ve recently had some bloodwork done and the results are a bit concerning to me. If I focus on that, the stress may put me in a flare. But it’s not realistic to think that my future doesn’t matter. Stress and worry are normal, and I’m not trying to act as though they don’t exist. I don’t, however, want to give them power, either.

I’m concerned that if my husband were to die before me, I would be unable to live on my own. My debilitating fatigue, which keeps me in bed, unable to cook, shop, or clean house, is a serious issue I would be facing alone. Borrowing trouble is never a good idea, but I do want to have a contingency plan in place. 

Limitations will become the norm for most of us as we age, but I’m already seeing those. It was incredibly humbling to go from needing a cane to needing a rollator and now to a wheelchair, some of the time. Having chronic fatigue syndrome with my fibro means I also have post-exertional malaise. Even simple things like washing my hair or unloading the dishwasher send me back to bed. 

I’m so thankful to be able to do so many things online these days: things like shopping, borrowing library books, learning in general, watching streaming channels on my tablet, but most importantly, being a part of a community of fellow warriors. 

I know that tomorrow has its own concerns, so I do my best to focus on today. I’m well aware that our lives can change in an instant, and it does no good to try to anticipate what those changes might be. My goal is to do all that I’m able to in any given moment and be thankful for all that I’m still able to do. I’m continually working on developing an attitude of gratitude. Truly, it’s what gets me through my fibro challenges. 

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Note: Fibromyalgia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Fibromyalgia News Today, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to fibromyalgia.

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